a life worthwhile.

And away we go~!

2010-04-16T20:02:00.002+08:00

Off to somewhere fresh.

This blog will stay still, 'cause I adore the template too much to trash it hehe.

Cheerios amigi! *\(^o^)/*

How it should have ended..

2010-03-19T22:29:00.007+08:00

Hehehe chanced upon a series of great spoofs of movie endings on Youtube. I just admire the simple comic art and crude yet smooth executions. (pardon the oxymoron d:)

Twilight one had me laughing in silence esp at the 'shhhh' part hehehe. The 2nd one of Dead Man's Chest was admirable because of how well they were faking the Brit accent and Jack Sparrow's spineless speech. Very well done I think! :D

This one is another funny spoof except dat it's also an ad at the same time. Don't know how well it actually would sell but I'm sure it'll have it's brand name securely embedded in the minds of all the twilight fangirls. *rolls eyes*

Smiles

2010-03-04T22:47:00.002+08:00

Just heard my parents' sniggerings at the TV from their bedroom next door. To me, I think that's one of the joyful moments in life. (:

A is for...

2010-03-03T19:56:00.006+08:00

Alice.

Caught it at Lido yesterday with Ringo. It's my first time watching a movie there, I love how they kept those classic hand-painted movie posters. Even if they may be inferior in any way compared to other theaters, those faded posters will no doubt remind everyone who was there first. But maybe they're just there for sentimental reasons. (:

The movie was really nice. I don't want to sound too shallow with words like "great, fantastic and awesome" (although those were the first words that came to my mind). But yeah, really it was good. It was humorous at many parts, which is a given with characters like the mad tea party-ers. But I think also, that there might be the deeper topic of growing up and of innocence and of fearless courage and of simple childlike faith.

I love how Alice adamantly put her foot down and claimed Wonderland to be hers and that she would be the one to make the rules; not fearing even a queen with a bulbous head and a penchant for chopping off others'. I also admire how she made the hard decision so swiftly at the end. To return back home and clean up the mess though she really didn't have to. Instead of running away as she always did, she took up her responsibilities like a real grown-up. And the irony is that she did it with her childhood faith and courage.

So I'd really recommend the movie, it's a feel-good movie in my opinion, makes you think nothing is impossible. :D Just still surprised how more than 2 people could have fallen asleep before such a captivating screen, 3D no less! d:

And the 2nd A is for Apple.

Another Apple ~~produce~~ product has joined the family: my sis' iPhone. Was helping her to charge it just now and browsed around for a bit, and I have to admit it's really cool. Almost as cool as the way the ads say it is. If I have any extra cash, I might get one too, just for fun. Cause I think it's really fun hehe, great for long train rides or to while away waiting time. just that I don't really like the touchscreen keyboard. Maybe it's something that you have to practice and get used to over some time, same as any other tech product, or any other thing for that matter. (:

***

I find myself repeating these words many times recently: "choices, choices"

We all make choices everyday. Whether it's small ones like, "the green shirt or the blue one?" or big ones such as, "should I apologize now and try to make things better?", they all shape our future. Like a ripple, like the butterfly effect. So well, no point really that I have to make haha, just felt like saying that I'm learning to finally make my own choices and more importantly, to stand by them. Not letting other people be the main influence in my decisions, and not running away from problems, and definitely not staying stagnant in one spot believing the lie that I'm all grown up.

A people-pleaser may be who I was brought up to be, but it's not who I choose to be. I'm sick of living out other people's expectations, craning for their approvals. And even if I still ain't sick of it yet, I would find out in the end that the only thing it has achieved is making my life into something that would lead me no where. (a painful but invaluable lesson learnt from FYP)

This is my life, I shall make the rules and stick by them. (:

iPad

2010-01-28T10:33:00.003+08:00

Finally it's here, the iPad.
The more I look at it and read about its features, the more I feel that its suddenly the one thing on earth that I need to make my life blissful and complete. Gosh, Steve Jobs and everyone at Apple's such a freak. Making something that seems to so seamlessly slip into our lives to fill a 'need' that wasn't there 10mins ago. Goshhhhhh, i wantttttt it. At US$499, all my problems are definitely going to disappear.

And I believe that's proof of Apple reaching the ultimate level of advertising: mind control.

Good news

2010-01-19T12:45:00.004+08:00

Oh happy day! *(^_^)* Heard good news last night.
It's soooo eggggciting! Hehees, but it's not my good news to tell yet so if you're reading this, you'll just have to wait a while to find out more. *beams*

Thank God for placing people in my life who believes in me and have faith in me. It really helps me to believe in myself too. He believed in me first, and proved that by staking all He had on the Cross. After having the Creator do something like dat, who am I to say I'm not worth it? Or that I can't make it? I might as well grab the faith placed on me and give it my best shot. Srsly, FYP is really a big hellhole no matter how I look at it. But scars make us stronger for life yeayea! (:

Have already begun on my List-To-Do-After-FYP, one of it includes getting a pair of trainers and go jogging ahaha! I can do it, I can make it NOT an annual event. d:

Helpful

2010-01-12T20:58:00.003+08:00

I'm always very happy to know I have been of help to someone. *(^_^)* It's a really good feeling. I think it's the result of having low self-confidence since as a child. When you have low self-esteem, it can really inhibit. I'm aware that I'm a high 'C', unable to receive God's and other people's love and grace freely cus of self-doubt, God-doubt and everythingelse-doubt. ahahaha. But it's good to know that something like confidence can be slowly built. (:

Such a random post.
But just had sudden urge to blog haha.

A hope

2009-12-29T19:38:00.003+08:00

It's good to have a goal to work towards; it's the hope that makes everything bearable in a instant. The mud that I am trudging through suddenly doesn't seem so horrible anymore, I feel that I can move on in strength. The power of Hope is great!(:

I pray You'll determine my steps. All my plans are futile if You do not set things in motion.
Let it be, Lord of all. (:

More courage

2009-12-16T15:48:00.005+08:00

爱一个人如何斯守到老
怎样面对一切我不知道

Oldies are still the best.
New songs nowadays beat around the bush and hardly say what they really mean.
Just like the young people who sing them.

Courage n Faith

2009-12-07T15:38:00.003+08:00

35days till FYP end.. it's really scary seeing it on sarah's blog.
I'm scared, many of us are scared.
But we can't let our fear stop us nor run away.
We must face it bravely..!

*deep breaths*

November Supplies

2009-11-26T15:45:00.003+08:00

Birthday Covets '09:
#1 The Message Bible
#2 Any collections of poems written before 20th C.
#3 Any recent illustration book
~~#4 A harddisk!~~
#5 Ram upgrade for my mac*

I was told to do this hahaha!
*BEAMS* I can't believe this, it's too good to be trueeeee~!
I'm so fortunate, too fortunate to be so loved.
But I'm thankful and I'm happy! :D
*eggggcited*
*(^o^)*

At peace within

2009-11-09T15:10:00.007+08:00

What restores our faith in God?
What reveals the Father's love?
What can lead the wayward home?
What can melt a heart of stone?
What can free the guilty ones?
What can save and overcome?

With questions, God gave me the answer I was seeking.
He is whom I have chosen to follow.
He won me over with His overwhelming love and grace. It really befuddles and sometimes even frustrates me. How is it possible that anyone can have so much authority and yet grace at the same time? With one breath, He has the power to take away my life as easily as He gave it. But it's the truth, and an amazingly fact. Jesus is the Creator of heaven and earth, and also the same person who died to save us. But we can't see this truth with our own strength, no matter how hard we strain.

What has God saved me from?
Eternal torment and pain in hell; a place where there is going to be no rescuing, no respite, no hope. My soul, the true essence of me, is what's been saved and has a sure hope in God and the place He has prepared for me.

I'm rebuilding what came crumbling down in an instance.
But this time, I am the one building and I will not allow anyone else to build it for me. (:

Living for someone, to me it means having my eyes always set on that person. No matter what, my gaze is fixed surely and does not have a reason to waver.

This is what I learnt today on the bus ride to school.
I didn't even pray but God knows every thought that runs through my mind.

I will remember;
How all my thoughts that were darting wildly, pulling my emotions and resolutions behind , fell to the ground and laid still the moment my eyes laid sight on it. It was like a revelation. I saw my purpose, my hope and my direction all at once in that instance. The fact that it was him made the greatest difference in the world. If it were anyone else, I would have turned away with weary eyes. Even though I didn't see him, the message couldn't have been any louder.

I'm so glad that my God is everywhere. *(^_^)*

November

2009-11-08T00:04:00.005+08:00

I'm not usually so thick-skinned but I think we all reach a point where we'd really rather receive something necessary if given a choice. The few items below would be helpful if you are thinking of getting me something but have no idea what to get. ehehe! :D

Birthday Covets '09:
#1 The Message Bible
#2 Any collections of poems written before 20th C.
#3 Any recent illustration book
#4 A harddisk!
#5 Ram upgrade for my mac*

*will accept gratefully + a kowtow at your feet

Huahahaha, fun fun.
Hmmmm... dang. Realised that I'm such a geek.
Oh wellsssss.

Ohayo

2009-10-28T09:36:00.001+08:00

I tied two ponytails this morning. *(^_^)*

Post-It Message

2009-10-25T12:43:00.002+08:00

Since you're here already, might as well watch this short vid.
I bet it'll speak through to your heart no matter where in life you are. (:

Moving on

2009-10-19T21:04:00.003+08:00

That's kwek (my blood type personality shifu) and chong woon the freelancer. I don't feel sad or anything now cus I feel this chapter has not closed yet. I'm surely going to drop by sometime for lunch or just to say hi. I had such a blessed and great time there and I'm vvv grateful. (:

Had lunch with ~~snow white~~ lays-san at pasta mania. She introduced me to pizza calzone which is so amazing looking and delicious to boot! must spread the word about it as commanded. :D

Went to school. We both had a very surreal feeling. More so for her than me I'm sure. It was just weird to be in school and having to tune abit back to the 'student' frequency, though the irony is that I had been dying to go back to school a few weeks before SIP ended. hahaha

FYP is here. I will be positive and stop any thoughts that say "wah its so tough and hard to think of ideas" because everything starts from thought. It will affect my attitude and finally the results. So I will be able to do it and conquer challenges well! yea! :D

Let's fly under the same sky!

snorts

2009-10-18T10:48:00.003+08:00

I am pretty peeved when I see his picture.
I'm angry at what he is doing to her, I want to wring his neck.
But NO. Jesus loves him still *deep breaths* so I can't let my angry get a hold of me.
There must be something I can do.
Why am I being so concerned anyway?
Maybe she won't appreciate it.
But I can't stop this injustice from stirring.
I won't just sit back on this one.

***

Yesterday was the most fun I've had in ages! *snorts!* *(^o^)*
Though I got totally thrashed at that stupid game, it was so super fun!!
and I can't believe we played that for like 1 hr plus continuously HAHA! *snorts!* xD

My Guy on the last day

2009-10-16T09:45:00.003+08:00

Nothing you could do could make me untrue to my God
Nothing you could buy could make me tell a lie to my God
I gave my God my word of honour to be faithful, and I'm gonna
You best be believing I won't be deceiving my God

Song of the morning. (;
When I found myself being hit by depressing thoughts early when I awoke, I remembered Saturday's sermon and PD's words: "I am a child of God, fully acceptable and empowered by the Holy Spirit." In that one sentence, I have my identity, my confidence and my reason to be strong. So I struggled with my mind to really pull myself up out of the pit, and I see that hey, I can do it after all.
Glory is God's. (:

Last daaaay today!
Feel so happy to be in the office hahaha but also a bit melancholic. The people here are so nice and funny and friendly, I would really miss it here.
Right behind me there's a table full of assorted misc items ranging from a bag to Bruce Lee figurine key chains to beautiful earrings. It's our tiny little flea market to raise funds for Khor who is going to India for a mission trip hehe. The funds would go to helping the children in the slums. It's very fun! Some of us brought things that we don't need anymore to sell. And I even wrote a copy and printed it out and pasted it on the wall wahahaha. "Your $SGD 5 can feed a child in India for 1 week. Skip lunch. Please donate generously". hehee! d:

alright, off to enjoy my last day!

Just run free

2009-10-13T09:31:00.003+08:00

I wanna love like there's no tomorrow
I wanna dance like no one's around
I wanna sing like nobody's listening
before I lay my body down
I wanna give like I have plenty
I wanna love like I'm not afraid
I wanna be the man I was meant to be
I wanna be the way I was made

On the way to work, this song just drifted into my mind. Everytime I sing this song, I am exuberant, I am beyond happy, I feel insurmountable and especially loved and empowered. This should be our everyday, we have such a power and love from above and within us. (:

I wrote an Obama post, it's still half written and sitting on my desktop because I had some urgent work to do yesterday and on friday so I couldn't wrap it up. It'll come about soon.. someday hehe.

Yesterday Keith dropped by for his last visit, he had to choose a day when I was suddenly very busy amidst days of doing nothing but reading NY Times and increasing my brain mass of GK (General Knowledge). He said Chris doesn't have any complains and they seem pretty happy with me so.. that's great! Thank God yay last 12th weeeeek! gogogo everyone! Time really flies, we were once so fearful and ignorant about SIP, now its slipping past us already. (:

Today is going to be a great day :D

First sprain in 19 years

2009-10-06T13:56:00.002+08:00

There is a first for everything. *nods*
This is definitely an experience I'll never forget.

Charming

2009-10-02T17:35:00.003+08:00

I think I fell into love at first sight with this dog.. he won't stop mesmerizing me.
*chuckles*

Flashing good fun!

2009-09-25T09:51:00.008+08:00

These are just a couple of reasons why I really, reaaaally want to be adept at flash! I think the creators of these sites should be very proud of their work knowing it brings joy and awe while serving its purpose of bringing their messages across.

http://www.duboismeetsfugger.com/
http://www.gettheglass.com/

***

Today's ODB is about living it real.

Becoming like Christ is a lifelong experience; therefore, we need patience with others and ourselves. All of us will have challenges and disappointments along the way. But if we put our trust in Him, we’ll grow spiritually and have character qualities that will radiate new life.
Lord, help us see how much we need each other
As we walk along the Christian way;
In fellowship with sister and with brother,
You will keep us growing day by day.
Conversion is the miracle of a moment; maturing takes a lifetime.

Patience. With others and myself.
Holding on when it is tough. Not pushing, not giving up.
Wanting to grow more in Christ,
but also being careful not to break a little sapling.
Not growing weary,
this hope I have, it's everlasting.

2009-09-24T10:20:00.002+08:00

Why must things always be so complicated in life? All that I have are a simple faith, a simple love, a desire to be simple, but why won't this life allow it?

By faith without sight

2009-09-22T15:34:00.002+08:00

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
Matt 6:34 The Message

If I worry for one more ounce, something bad is going to happen to me.
Trust God yans! Have faith have faith have faith and step out. His hand is not too short to catch you.
When you pray to be independent, to grow up and to be a responsible and strong person, He will give you situations to be just that.

God's assurance

2009-09-21T22:12:00.005+08:00

I believe my God holds EVERYTHING in His hands; every breath, every waking moment, every event, every encounter, every relationship, every heartbeat. So I believe I read today's ODB not by chance nor coincidence. (:

21 September 2009 - Whitewashed Tombs

As I study the life of Jesus, one fact consistently surprises me: the group that made Jesus angriest was one that He outwardly resembled. Jesus obeyed the Mosaic Law and quoted leading Pharisees (Mark 9:11-12; 12:28-34). Yet He singled out the Pharisees for His strongest attacks. He called them serpents, a brood of vipers, fools, and hypocrites (Matt. 23:13-33).

What provoked such outbursts? The Pharisees devoted their lives to following God, gave away an exact tithe (v.23), obeyed every law in the Torah, and sent out missionaries to gain new converts (v.15). Against the relativists and secularists of the first century, they held firm to traditional values.

Yet Jesus’ fierce denunciations of the Pharisees show how seriously He viewed the toxic threat of legalism. Its dangers are elusive, slippery, hard to pin down. I believe these dangers remain a great threat today.

Jesus condemned the emphasis on externals: “You cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence” (v.25). Expressions of love for God had become ways to impress others.

The proof of spiritual maturity is not how “pure” you are but your awareness of your impurity. That very awareness opens the door to God’s grace. — Philip Yancey

Thinking It Through
According to Romans 7:18-24, what is the
apostle Paul’s view of his own spiritual condition?
What did Paul say is the answer? (Rom. 7:25–8:4).

Legalism destroys our loving relationship with God.

***

Legalism

–noun
1. strict adherence, or the principle of strict adherence, to law or prescription, esp. to the letter rather than the spirit.

2. Theology.
a. the doctrine that salvation is gained through good works.
b. the judging of conduct in terms of adherence to precise laws.

***

God, I believe You are a living Spirit, unbound by our minds, our perspective, our human understanding. I believe You are a merciful Person who loves me more than anyone else, enough that You would send Your beloved to suffer and die for me. Lord make my paths straight as I depend on you.

"Come now, let us reason together,"
says the LORD.
"Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

A big step of faith.

Shift again!

2009-09-16T13:30:00.002+08:00

ALAZAKAM!
Hullo earthlings. First let me say one thing: I want to blog! I really do! so many photos, so many happy things.
BUTBUT.. after 9 hrs a day, 5 days a week of staring at the computer, it is definitely the last thing i wana do when I get home. So please understand hehe, thank you all who still drop by from time to time, I do the same thing too. d:

Neways I'm here now cus I changed seats, AGAIN. From the suburbs (creative area nearest to the toilet with khor, deedee, sihui, shah) to the urban city (kwek & isabel) to the condo now (so called because of the white wall partitions whr chris n the FA artists sit). I'm now sitting at the ex-copywriter's place, opp chris and beside the conf room, but can't see him cus of a big slab of white wall. I'm now at the corner of the corner-est already! But I'm still counting my blessings for this nice comfy chair, big table (where I can stretch my legs fully finally!) and working computer, if not I'd have to lug my own lappy to work! :D

We have exactly 30 days more to end of SIP!! GAHHH, can't wait to get back to school! (>_<)
I'm still a student, there's so much more for me to see n learn, I dun wan live a life where I find myself at the same place with the same sleepy face everyday. That was exactly wad went through my mind as I trotted to wait for the train today. How can people do this? Hmmmm. Well, I suppose we will all grow into one day, to accept it if not to tolerate it. But it's not for me now. I still have things I want to learn! I dun wana spend my youth being an OL in plain tee. ):

Okay, work is coming in.
Lunch time too hehees!
More updates hopefully, some time soon! *wavessss* *(^_^)*

Sunset victory

2009-09-02T20:10:00.000+08:00

Today started out so desolate and dreary, but ended with such majesty warmth and love.

Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.

How grateful and thankful I am to have you. I know you are determined to be a pillar in my torrents, and you have done for me what nobuddy has ever done. (:

Friend indeed.

2009-09-02T10:51:00.004+08:00

oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no.
I cannot help but feel like I've failed, terribly.
When I read those words of his, the words that came to my mind immediately were
"SHIT, I WASN'T THERE FOR HIM."
really, shit shit shit. Why am I always not there for my friends who are always there for me?? Why can't I also be their cheer when they need some? crap /sigh.

In my life, ever since I was a kid, I have always been taken care of. Went through many phases of such a treatment also: "taken care of", "want to be taken care of", "feels I need to be taken care of" and now "I should stop being taken care of" + "can I take care of others?".

Really, how? Can I really be a cheer and support for other ppl as well?
Why do I always seem to fail? I find that I only know the happy things of my friends, but not the sad things. Am I somebuddy that people find uneasy to share with? Do I seem to judge too quickly? Do I appear nonchalant without knowing? Tell me what's wrongggg..

People with the gift of showing mercy.. I thought we can be confidants??
But wadever, the focus is not on me now. I just wana be able to be there for you guys too.

*extended* (after lunch)

It is during times like these that I, as a Mary, dissolve into despair as I wallow and beat about. I think Marthas would augment into fervour as they strive to do more, achieve more to drive out any insecurities.

Dysphoric mood

2009-09-01T23:13:00.000+08:00

I guess it's time I wrote something before this place gets deserted again.

Work has been sleepy lately.
Kwek often exclaims at my redbull & chicken essence haha.
Getting along well with him and Isabel, one of the FA artist, cus we sit in the same area. :)

Is there something wrong with me?
Why do I break my own dreams all the time?
Must my happiness be born from something infallible to survive the wreckings of my own hands? So that no matter which way I toss and hit it, it reminds firm and unchanged, not giving way at all.
How can I fight this battle in my mind and win?
I hate being a thinker sometimes.

Anyways, I just learnt a new word: Dysphoria.
Now I wonder if this post makes a difference.
sleeeeeeepy!

Song of a little bird

2009-08-25T09:41:00.002+08:00

I know what it is I need
it's clear as a shallow stream
it's as it seems, my only dream's
to be loved by you.

Flurry of photos

2009-08-11T23:44:00.002+08:00

heheh.

The new PastaMania at Yishun. I was so astonished when I went there to eat with my sis 2 Sundays ago, (yes, long overdue photos s:) it is the best outlet I have ever been to and I have been to many, being a PastaManiac and all. *beams* The ambience is really lovely, with many decorations, props and installations mimicking an Italian street. Me and my sister sat at the Edicola (I was squirming excitedly cus I knew what it meant hehees d: "Newspaper Stand") and it's now my fave PastaMania outlet hehee. Lays-san! When you come back, lets go eat there I promise! :D

Last Friday I watched them twirl again. *smiles*

Oh and this has got to be the loveliest surprise for me on National Day hahaha. There was this garden display attraction at Northpoint and I just happened to walk past it and sneaked a glance at it. Never did I expect my eyes to actually behold them HYDRANGEAS!!! My jaw literally dropped and I kept staring at them, too cool to squirm/smile by myself, I satisfied my excitement by whipping out my companion and taking a shot hehees. *(^o^)* oh, I vented my excitement by twittering too.

Work has been good today. I think I finally felt the power of passion in the context of work. What may be a chore or a roadblock for others becomes a challenging step that you want to surmount with all your heart when passion is with you. Although my copies and headline got rejected totally (albeit in a nice way), I went back to my table without feeling like a loser. This is partly due to Chris, who gets his point across without shouting, and takes the time to help me through by constantly giving me guidelines. He also appreciates effort and does not dismiss my miniscule pool of writing skills with a scoff, and keeps in mind that I am only just picking up the ropes to copywriting.

I get back to my table after being rejected, feeling very driven to find the right words indeed. This may sound ridiculous but It's like I can feel the words; I close my eyes and I feel them swimming about and I know that the winning words are out there somewhere, I just need to grab the right ones. It's a great feeling, for me at least haha. It's like I think I have found somewhere with a place for me, a place where I don't feel like I am stretching unnaturally out of my mold. Right, I hope all goes smoothly too. (:

Oh yah! Today Keith dropped by suddenly for a surprise visit lol. Duno if he did it on purpose or not. Neways we had prior agreement with Chris that Friday would be the most ideal day for him to drop by so Chris was kinda reluctant as today was a busy day. But then Keith was already at the front door so no choice, Chris had to talk with him for a while haha. Before he left, he got a surprise himself when he saw one of my colleagues, DeeDee, who was his ex-classmate. Haha, it was nice to see a familiar and amiable face. (:

Had a good time at ds today, simple sharing but what a wonderful time.

sigh (again?)

2009-08-10T23:24:00.000+08:00

It is just as it is; the little girl adorned with the big bright hat is still there waiting although the fishes have already gone and swam away.

Time can't heal wounds, what should I do with mine..... oh sigh.

Open Bloom

2009-08-09T13:55:00.000+08:00

At work, I am learning, experiencing and seeing many new things and I find myself wanting to tell another person, who would be interested enough to listen, all about it. I can keep talking n sharing with my friends and siblings, something that I'm quite surprised at. I remember myself not being so talkative just a few months back. Then, it seems to me, I just needed to share things one person and it would be entirely sufficient for me. All the people in my life appears to be unable to make up for for that one person. But now that he is no longer there, willingly and patiently listening, I suppose my subconscious mind is opening me up slowly, to admittance, acceptance and then change. I must look forward, I must move forward, it was as he said.

I wrote that para yesterday on the way to church, it was just something that was weighing strongly on my mind. Then later, hearing Eve's testimony really touched me. I could relate to what she so bravely shared; bargaining with God till the last moment, refusing to give up but still knowing that God is in-charge and that if He really wants to, He should take it away. Then when God really took it away, you have to begin to give up someone who was your world. Then crying at night etc etc. But she also said that after she let go, God was always there and slowly started to light the path for her feet to walk and I was overwhelmed with hope, because I am at that point right now. God has really held and cradled me, His grace is immense. Even right now as we go through SHAPE in church, I find myself knowing more about my abilities and personality and uncovering what on earth am I here for.

If you want to know what an object's purpose is for, you would ask the person who crafted it. And it's the same for us; wishing to know what we're really meant to do here on earth and where, each with our specific abilities, temperaments and personalities, we need to seek God and ask the Creator. (:

Still trying to figure out Picasa so no photos. d: gotta run, off to Da Vinci with my sis and her bf! Happy National Day everybuddy! *(^o^)*

YESSSSSS!

2009-08-07T19:12:00.000+08:00

I'm sitting at the fountain @ far east sq right now, waiting patiently for my facial appt. Before you guys jump to conclusions, just wana say that I'm not bored, I hav 2 books n ideas to generate and as the title of this post exclaims: YESSSSSSSSS!!! I got my first copywriting task!! \(^o^)/ One step closer to finding out if God has really made me for such a vocation. Ahhhhhh! I was leaping for joy inside when I left the office just now. Chris, my supervisor, is so nice! He heard from someone that I am aspiring to be a copywriter n he gave me a job to try out. And he told me to let him know wad it was that I wana learn, try out etc so that my time there would be fruitful. Hehees! Sooooo thankful! Okay, facial time ciao amici!

Laughter and Tears

2009-08-05T23:27:00.000+08:00

Today i experienced wad lays-san said the other day: say until cry but cannot cry so keep blinking. wahhh I couldn't help the tears, it wasn't those sorrowful kind but more like frightened to tears. And it wasn't for something dat I done wrong, he was just venting his temper on me. Imagine if it was for something dat I'd done wrong, I would have been scolded till I disintegrated into ash. I really really really dun wan to work with him, I won't be able to take the cutting words in a position where I have zero to no say. I abhor tempers, God pleaseeeee help me.

Today had great dinner again, so happy n excited for phy when her photos got splashed big big on the new paper front page! :D Ate at thai express n celebrated robin's bday also. Feels really good to come together, silently cheering n supporting each other. We mustn't allow internship to break our dreams. Missed lays-san again, our future art director hoho.

Everlasting

2009-08-03T21:06:00.001+08:00

今天我想起了宝贝。(:
This one is for you. Love is always love so smile, let your heart fly.

A Sigh

2009-08-03T09:35:00.001+08:00

Today I saw someone who resembled you. Well.. maybe he didn't, I was just thinking too much. I want to be able to see your face soon. But then again, what would I say?? *sigh* oh welllls, I'm pretty resigned to this.

I'm on time here at the office, but I think they come in later on mondays. It's very good. I feel they are people who have truly have lives, who spend time with their families and find the right balance. It's easy to sell your soul to your work in the creative industry, since you do it with passion and give your work your own touch, making it personal. Good thing they are people who know the truly important things in life. *inhales deeply* God I pray for the rest of the 11 fridays here, use it to glorify Your name and sustain me! (:

Weekend!

2009-08-01T13:13:00.000+08:00

My my, you never really treasure the weekend till you start working, I believe hahaha. It's such a luxury to sleep peacefully without having to set the alarm. (^_^) Went to Ion for dinner with evan n ray yesterday. It was so packed! Apparently, all the labels are at the top floors; complete with lofty ceilings and a posh, clean-bordering-on-deserted atmosphere. And the 'normal' shops that we 'normal' people frequent are all underground. I felt like such a muggle, being carried along in the congested flow of people. The worst part was the Food Mall at B4. Once you step off the escalator, you would be engulfed in a smoky, foul-smelling air all over. No matter which way you turn, you won't be able to escape it as long as you're on that floor because all the smoke comes from all the foodstalls that are everywhere! *pulls hair* And if you stay in there long enough, you'd start smelling like that place too. In the end we walked to cine to eat pasta instead. (yums! :D) All in all, it wasn't a fantabulous first experience with Ion. S:

The first friday is down, 11 more to go! :D
Have been slowly getting used to the company and the people there. There are all very nice and friendly people, though I haven't yet seen them when they're stressed. x: I just find it amazing that almost everyone there at the company has a common temperament, and it's one that prevails in me as well. It is really a great enviroment, much more than I had dared to hope for, and I am truly grateful for it. (: But as I was sharing with my sis last night, God hadn't given me a perfect bed of roses lest I get too comfortable. When we get comfortable, we don't feel compelled to move on and we'll start taking things for granted.

The mystery of the nutmeg is still not revealed. hmmmm.

I added my flickr badge to my archive page. I don't know what's wrong with blogger post, I can only write in it but can't do anything else, so I decided to post my photos to flickr instead. (:

Chatted with one of my colleagues, Kwek, over lunch yesterday. Khor had introduced him on the first day as "不会生气的人" and he really is a very amiable and humble person. He was sharing to me how he found the right balance with his career and life and how that is very important. He also said it is very good that at least I am beginning to have an inkling of what I want to do in the future. After listening to him share, I feel that I have such a full and exciting life stretching out before me, and I am only at the starting line. It's quite a hold-your-breath kind of exhilaration when you realise that. (:

Band of Designers

2009-07-30T09:41:00.000+08:00

Ohayo!
Yesternight was great! (: It was so comforting to see each other's worn faces together, knowing that you're not alone in this. As we shared our first 3 days' experiences over claypot rice, I saw things that I should be thankful and grateful for, apparently one mountain is taller than the other haha. Some of us had colleagues that didn't talk, some that scare you during meetings with sudden questions lol and etc etc.

And God really pours His love out on me every morning, how wonderful to have a God of all who hears and loves. Right, shall focus on my work now! cheers! *(^_^)*

Day Two!

2009-07-28T23:05:00.001+08:00

There is something wrong with blogger, I can't post photos for now, if not I would show you guys the scrumptious Korean spread that I had with my colleagues today. (: Neways, for all who read the depressing Day One post, good news! There really is a brighter day tomorrow. *(^_^)*

Recap from last night:
I did not sleep well at all. Though I went to bed real early, I woke up 4-5 times during the night and felt like I've never slept. Had to assure myself that I had really set a trustworthy alarm and that I can safely close my eyes till it rings. I know it's because I kept worrying about my work; afraid that my ideas were not good enough and afraid of being scolded (because I was working with a pretty fierce guy). I woke up finally when my alarm rang and rushed about as usual, thank God for my dedicated mum who went and bought me breakfast despite having work herself. (:

I tried to be positive and sought things to thank God for; like not having to lug my lappy and charger to work daily since the com at work is good enough. But the thing that really gave me joy from the inside out was reading Max Lucado's chapter on the Samaritan woman & Jesus at the well. After reading the 'unabridged' version of that story, I felt the strength of God's love and mercy upon me so strongly. God was saying to me that He loves me and just as He knew and made Himself available to the outcast of outcasts, so He is here for me with arms outstretched. God is on my side, what can man do to me?

And so I went to work and left work today with huge smiles on my face and also joy on the inside. The truth is I gave myself unnecessary stress; all I need to do is put in my best effort and learn from there, I can't expect myself to never make mistakes and fly on the first day. After I accepted that, it was so, so much easier to breathe. (:

Today I felt better also because another lady was looking at my brief and asked my fierce colleague who's it is and he said I was working on it. Then she chided him jokingly for bullying me by giving me such a job on day one. When I heard that I felt so relieved because it meant it wasn't the norm' and that they aren't living on another higher terrestrial plane.

Anyways, may I be stronger and braver after these 12 fridays! (good way of looking at it by nuo)
Thank you also to you for having faith in me. It helped me have faith in myself too. (:
Orights, it's time to sleeeeeeeeep~.

Day One.

2009-07-27T20:14:00.000+08:00

As I walked down the steps and out of the office, tears were brimming in my eyes. What a way to start my 3 mths!
I was so stressed; feeling so inadequate and low and all by myself.

I reached on the dot, but my in-charge came in later so I sat at the lobby for 40min, that's perfectly fine for me. It was later when the work started coming in. I had a simple first task: create some 3D chinese typo. Well to cut the long story short, I couldn't come up with something even I was satisfied with, because I did not have a 3D software to make it nicely. I tried to follow my boss' sketch, I could envision it but I just couldn't execute it. So frustrating and demoralising! (>_<)

Then later, I joined a meeting. The accounts lady started to talk to me about the brief and details. Then she handed me the heavy a3 folder with all the past ads from that account inside and also the ad brief and told them I can start coming up with the concept. I was like o.o, it's the first day and I have a dateline in 3 days.

I went home at 6.40, it's good compared to ama's 8.30.
I think there will be many midnight trips home in the future.
God, please please sustain all of us.

Fresh Blooms!

2009-07-26T20:06:00.000+08:00

Yes, a sweet new blog skin.
I'm not sure why, but I just couldn't write properly with that last skin. I think its the dark gloomy atmosphere; I feel suffocated and gloomy myself. Anyways its a pity, I did spend some time crafting it. But I love this new one ever more! Especially the photographs from air*fuly, the Japanese lady who took the photo of the yanny-look-alike. I am hoping to write beautiful sweet things here from now on. *(^0^)*

Tomorrow is going to be my first day of work at TandT.
And also first days for all my other friends. Excited and fearful, definitely.
Cannot wait for this time to grow and see more, as a designer, as a person, as God's child. Praying for God to be with me as I move among strangers, for kind people who are willing to teach in the most unkind design industry there is, and also a cheerful, positive heart to beat at every circumstance. I must begin to live in the truth that I can do all things. (^_^)

Late Night!

2009-07-23T02:11:00.000+08:00

Vomitting at 2am is not very fun.

Nothing much came out though since I din eat much, dinner having long been digested. In case you guys are thinking I'm bulimic, well I'm not. It's just all the air that's bloating me up these past few weeks, making me really uncomfortable. It's like you want to burp but can't. So I had to force burp which resulted in inducing vomit.

***

Took a peek at my chat transfer histories; we were so happy.

***

Thank you Jesus very much for today with great friends. Thankfully Huimin called to drag me out. Thankfully I was able to rush the bulk of my work by then. Thankfully for dateline extension. God planned everything nicely. (:

I felt so relaxed and enjoying catching up and joking with peilin, jose, hm n jas over dinner and after dat ad and averill. Srsly, past few days have been very bad. I was tense and kan chiong for not very apparent reasons. Have never been so worried for my work before, usually I have this slackish attitude. But I keep worrying about my packaging till I can't even fall aslp peacefully. I guess I really hate it. S:

So I was very happy to be out with great friends. Even met lays-san at northpoint for the first time HAHA! and saw 'my enemy' again. At first I was worried abit as I still have things undone but I decided to just forget about it for the time being and ended up staying out late chatting. It was refreshing and I even felt very energetic afterwards. (:

God is my fortress, my ever present help in times of trouble.

Shinobi Yans

2009-07-19T10:31:00.000+08:00

Ciao Amici!
This is a photo of me while still in bed this morning. I can't believe I went to sleep like this! The mask can be really scratchy sometimes. But really thankful that I did not have runny nose or breathing problems as usual. If not it would really be an I'd-rather-die situation.

My fever has gone done quite abit, thanks for all who prayed and showed concern, very encouraged and happy. *(^_^)* Lays-san commented that I always fall sick during packaging, is it a curse? wahaha, it's uncanny but it can't be that I abhor it so much right?? haha well who knows, maybe after SIP, I find that advertising is a killer and I might hate it for the rest of my life. X:

Neways, get well get well!

2009-07-15T10:09:00.000+08:00

"What on earth am I here for?"
whines my latest fb status.

If I can bumble, grumble and wail,
I would, I would.

All my happy days have gone,
the day that I lost you.

Why is it that everytime I bring myself to this place,
all that pours out are dejected emotions and weak decisions?
Why O why O why.

At discipleship yesterday,
I picked up many things from gracie's sharing.
Will not lie to myself saying, "Yes, I can do all that."
No no, a lie like that will bring me nowhere at all.
Instead I tell myself that those are good truths,
I will do well to remember them and abide as I can;
the way a motherly nurse would encourage a young and hurting patient.

For how can you shove a broken heart,
without crashing it to pieces?

I ventured to a point of quite some desolace;
I felt and even lived in the thought that
surely there is no one, not even God who loves me now.
If He loves me, why does He make me go through all of this?
Why do I have to cry myself to exhaustion every night?
Why will I live everyday more tired than the last?
Why did He give and then force me to let go?

He knows I will obey; I would not be able to live properly without pain if I did not,
But on this side of the fence, there is also pain.
Why O why O why.

So many things I cannot figure out.
Everyday I have to scrape for comfort.
Though I know I will only get hurt;
not by spoken words but by words unspoken,
I still will put on a mask and greet you daily.
Though I know I know..
you are lost to me as well.

I'm sure this is not the life of a victor.

"Find things everyday to praise God and thank Him for."
That's one of the things that I picked up from yesterday.
It does make my life brighter and the pain less when I think of all that I have,
and all that could be much worse.
God is watching; dig deeper dig deeper.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

He keeps telling me: "Put your hope here, put your hope here.."
I am trying, I am trying.

2009-07-09T23:01:00.000+08:00

Some photos from facebook:

Kangaroos.. I secretly perceive them as very dangerous animals because of the many 'horror' roadkills stories from people hahaha. But those were real cute and mild. (:

I think I need chocolates tooooo, but they make me fat. *pouts* bummer! ):

4th July Roti Prata Class+A Beautiful Mind

2009-07-05T10:58:00.000+08:00

Figured it'd be easier to post here rather than to Flickr. (:

All of us are going to different parts of sg, or even the world for some, in about 3 weeks' time. Gosh.. I'm scared to shivers when I think about working out there; what if they give me something to do that I have no clue about? *deep breathes* I try to remind myself that it'll be okay, and to just ask if I don't know. And that everyone goes through this someday and my day is now! *clenches fist*

Watched A Beautiful Mind last night with my sister. Russel Crowe was spectacular in it and as deep and penetrating as the whole film was, I came away with the one very simple 'solution' that John Nash learnt. Suffering from schizophrenia, he was delusional and saw hallucinations since he was a student at Princeton. To cut the long story short, he won the battle because he chose not to indulge in them after he realised they were unreal. They never went away (I guess they're still ard since he is still alive) but he chose to ignore them. It was so hard and he admitted that it's probably something that he is going to live with all his life but the difference is that he acknowledged them as something past.

I think in some point in our lives we all will have to make a choice to push forward, to charge past a wall inside of us with sheer will and choice. But I also believe that there is no absolute solution to any problem, what works for others may not work for some. Sometimes it just feels better to turn away from our own problems for a while and look at the lives of others, and when we turn back again, our problems seem to diminish some. (:

Let it out sweet.

2009-07-03T21:32:00.000+08:00

I believe that when we are hurt, we cry. Whether it's silently on the inside or outright, wrecking sobs, I think we should not think of it as "oh gosh something is definitely wrong in my life, God must be non-existant in my life for me to have reason to be crying n feeling so miserable", because frankly I will have dat thought. Don't I have the King of kings on my side? What's this foreign liquid coming out of my eyes then? But then, I remember that just because I'm a Christian, my life is not absolutely peaches and cream. We have been warned and are constantly reminded that that isn't the case. Though what we have this constant hope and faith amidst our trials and pain that promises to be bigger than our problems.

Sometimes we just need another human soul to comfort and wrap their arms around us. I tried to appeal for yours in my darkest moment but I dun think I will be getting that soothing comfort again.

Sleep on it sweet.

Let it go now sweet.

2009-07-02T22:10:00.000+08:00

I am hurt already, and it's not as if I have been trying for an unbearably long time but still, it's unbearable. A voice from someone who sounds too drawn-out and hopeless is shaking her head and telling me, "Forget it, leave it be." And there is another voice too, but it's pointless now to hear her cries.

Actions do speak louder cus its what you choose to do that has real consequences, and hopefully its the consequences that you want.

***

My nose has been running all day, and I was so frightened at the possibility that I might be coming down with something, especially with the unexplained headache that should be non-existent since I slept extra early last night. I can't afford to fall sick during this blockkkk nononono. so please remember my health in your prayers ya, grazie amici.

On my smart companion

2009-07-01T19:15:00.000+08:00

BUONA SERAAAAAWR! (:

Hello, it's been a few days since my last post, so updates updates.
Never thought I'd get my smart-companion so soon but yay I'm thankful for a loving dad who helped me to get it. (: Of course, I paid for it myself; I'll never get my parents to pay for any gadgets dat I don't seriously need (laptop not included) because I think it's just being spoilt. Plus, it's not worth the amount of nagging that usually entails huahahaha. d:

It's been 3 days, and I think I'm growing onto it already. lays-san n the gang have had endless poking fun of my companion n I.. stressing on the 'SMAAAART' part with their faux-sneers hahaha. They even gave it a strange Japanese name which I adamantly refuse to acknowledge.
It shall forever be know as 'my companion'.

Because my companion it is. And it's been doing a fine job occupying my time on long, chilly bus rides to school in the morning and quiet ones back home in the afternoon. While I sat by myself on the deserted train from Woodlands to Yishun after gracie & joyjoy had alighted; and all of those in-between-me-times-perfect-for-emos. It gives my fingers something to fiddle with and keeps my mind busy. Too occupied to be upset, my companion leaves me no room to indulge myself in anything melancholic or overwhelming. And as my italian lect, Sabrina, would say: "Perrrrfecto."

Oh wells, I must accept that sometimes not doing anything is the best thing to do. Especially after everything I've ever done had accomplished nothing but bringing hurt. Boooooooooo sigh.

And why is my brudder blasting めぐり逢い now of all times???????!
*shakes head*

***

Can't wait for zoo zoo zoo on friday! Thank God for no BrdPak class yayyyy.
Have been posting photos from my companion whenever I have wifi, anybuddy noticed dat humongous Flickr badge yeeeeet? *taps feet impatiently*

Dancing

2009-06-27T11:44:00.000+08:00

Last night otw home from 4-people-bang!(not as fun since it's too predictable), I saw there were line-dancing outside the community center. So I went and sat down at one of the benches with other strangers in the cool night air to gaze at the aunties and even uncles swirling and twirling on the brick tiles. The song that they were dancing to seemed very familiar to me but I couldn't recognise it at first. It was only till the chorus broke out that I realised it was the chinese version of 每天爱你多一些！I was thrilled, the only canto song that I learnt! So I sat there crooning and found myself smiling as I watched the gray-haired knot whirling with all their hearts, heads turning all the while to glance at and mimic the spunky-looking instructor.

For that moment, life was so pure, simple and beautiful. My sadness and strife dissolved amidst that moonlit crowd, and I walked away with a skip in my steps. How is that possible I wonder? When just moments ago, I was so heavy-hearted. I don't know, but I gladly take it as it is; if for this moment I am happy, let me not question but enjoy it to the full.

On a less pensive note, I want to join a line-dancing class someday! Really really reeeeally, I really like it and I really mean it. If possible, I wanna join it with my mum too. (^_^)

***

My dream of a smart phone-companion is not far out of reach~ will dearly miss my panasonic though. been flipping phones for 4 years already! Definitely a very cool act hehees. d:

Honesty

2009-06-25T13:08:00.000+08:00

Even though I say I leave it to fate, or God's will,
but I do nothing at all, there is no difference.
When we do nothing, nothing happens.
You do have a say in matters that concern you,
because you are the one making the choices,
no one else can move the pieces for you.

***

Sometimes we hurt the people around us
because we don't say the things we really mean.
Afraid to be branded as selfish? That's one reason we hold back.
It's a moral that we must not be self-centered,
but if it causes hurt to others and ourselves,
why can't we just be honest and risk a moment of vulnerability to the words of others?
Even if we might be called selfish, it's better than wrapping up the truth in us.
Sigh, things just get more complicated as we get older.
I will really be contented with just a simple life.

***

I dreamt of cell group together with sausages, racing and cabs, space embassies and terminator.
Made me hungry when I got the sausages for free. *drools*

2009-06-23T11:58:00.000+08:00

Just like you often said:
we are not, but we still go through it the same.

只有你能听得到

2009-06-21T23:42:00.000+08:00

好想和你说说话，想知到你过的好不好；
深夜的时后有睡好吗？
还是不停地翻来翻去呢？
我真的很对不起你，
但是如过我再说下去的话，
我只不过会为难你。
我必须得放你走，
但那祝福的话我说不出口。

知道不能太依赖
怕你会把我宠坏
你的香味一直徘徊
我舍不得离开

2009-06-21T21:21:00.001+08:00

It is especially unbearable when night falls.

Whispered promise

2009-06-21T00:05:00.000+08:00

There's many things I want to talk about, but I guess I will just pick one small thing to say tonight instead of going on and on. I want badly to listen to those chinese songs, but I know if I do I will really die. I would be disconsolate if I allow myself to wallow. I know, there is a time for everything, even to be sorrowful. But I am so scared if I allow myself to go there, I will never get back up. So I will not go there, not yet not now.

I read Ruth for my bedtime story last night, the first time I ever read that book. I was tired, but I still read it and took it in. And I was amazed and very touched. So much so that tears came to my eyes. Tears that were supposed to appear earlier but did not could not hold back when I read these words:

But Ruth said, "Don't force me to leave you; don't make me go home. Where you go, I go; and where you live, I'll live. Your people are my people, your God is my god; where you die, I'll die, and that's where I'll be buried, so help me God—not even death itself is going to come between us!"When Naomi saw that Ruth had her heart set on going with her, she gave in. And so the two of them traveled on together to Bethlehem.
Ruth 1:16-19

There is just something secret in those words, a faint whisper that touched my heart.

One more thought that came to me today during svc.
I paid such a high price; the most important thing to me in my life I surrendered, I will make sure I stand strong all the way. I am not going to let my sacrifice go to waste, I am not going to insult it by putting in less than my best.

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.
Psalms 37:4

God knows what we really want and need, we don't need to say it out loud.
And He is not a mean God who purposely takes away what we love,
He is somebuddy who paid a high price too, and He definitely won't let it go to waste.

Obedience

2009-06-20T00:15:00.000+08:00

It's not hard to hear from God,

I know my sheep and my sheep know me - John 10:14

the hard part is in obeying what He says.

I don't question God, though this is possibly the hardest thing I have had to do to in my choice to follow Jesus. And now I understand why God held back till the last minute to tell me what to do. He was preparing my heart through everything. If He told me at the start, I would have crumbled. They said obedience will cost me, and it's true. Something like cutting off a piece of flesh, hurts me as the blade slices. Yet I know that God is real and He is to be trusted.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

I tell myself, this is not the end of the world, though in the days to come I am prepared to feel horrible. But I will trust in His promises and have faith.

Faith to see the invisible, believe the unbelievable and receive the impossible. - Corrie Ten Boom

Back from camp.

2009-06-19T00:27:00.000+08:00

2 things I brought out from camp:
1. My God is great and there is power in His name.
2. M'sia water is not very clean.

Because my lips have been cracking and throbbing. S:
But dun worry, give them a couple of days and clean water and they'll be healed in no time. (:
Overwhelmed by God, really.
I want to go where I have not dreamed before.

Photos!

2009-06-14T21:00:00.000+08:00

I love this shot; I am the mummy here! hehees with my adoooooorable son! (^_^) But I just can't get him to cut his hair! it's going to be longer than mine very soon and then it'll become an afro!

Hahaha, me and my sister. Hmmm, I wonder what is that he's forming? d:

Taken by my mama hees.

And last but not least! The shot everyone is waiting for! heheheees, sanks to kallang that I dared to go and approach him for a photo. So many people were talking and taking photos with him too. hehees! \(^_^)/

Camp tomorrow omigosh I can't believe it!!!!!

Hullo!

2009-06-14T00:15:00.000+08:00

This popped into my mind early in the day so did it immediately(almost) when I reached home. funnn! (:

Many things happened this week! about my miraculous passport incident, my blessed internship position which I have been praying about since last year and just-over ps. Hernry Seeley's visit! (^_^)/ God has really been good to me; drawing me from the week before. Now it's my turn to stand up and to chase after Him, to leave my comfort zone when He calls and not to be intimidated by people who do not think much of my lifestyle that wants to glorify Jesus. Only God's opinion of me really matters and really, how badly do I want Him to like me?

Today, photo was really on a different level for me personally. (not just bcus its him -_-)
While on the bus to church, I felt prompted to pray about it (which I usually do before serving). But this time I felt to pray till I sensed a breakthrough which I did. And later on, when I picked up the cam and started snapping, I did not feel tired out or anything tho it was really, really hot and the cam is not ur mini canon pixus which weighs practically close to nothing. And when I went through the shots, I got blown away by some because I rarely take such good ones. The lighting was good and even perfect for some and I was not afraid to go near the band to take different shots. (of course z3 were v nice & friendly and esp wei was really nice to accomodate me btw his amp & him which left the hearing in my left ear pretty fuzzy for a while after that hahaha) and to top it off, the entire thing survived on 1 bar of batt! I started off with only one bar and muen did not bring any spare batteries, the batt icon was flashing throughout the entire half of the svc and I got quite worried (cus I need some left to take a photo with him! (>_<) but I prayed and guess what, God was grace-ful to me. My God treats me very well and He provides! *(^_^)*

Church camp on monday, can't wait ~~for buffet and wow card games!~~ for fresh messages spoken by different speakers and great fun & fellowship! teehees! d:

My Secret Twin

2009-06-10T11:09:00.000+08:00

Here on popular demand and interest, the photo of the Japanese girl dat ying nuo showed me. Its really quite freaky, I mean even I myself think dat we look alike. I left a msg at the lady's flickr, hopefully we can be friends and I can go homestay with her in the future! wahahaha!*thinks really far ahead* (^0^)

p.s. That will be my next hairstyle!

Holidays \(^_^)/

2009-06-09T17:19:00.001+08:00

Wrote this over a period of time, from before I got ready for school to on the bus and right now in class. Re-wrote the lower part of it cus my firefox hanged. T_T

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 truths about you.

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: lay's Coke
2. Last phone call: lays-san
3. Last text message: ring & go
4. Last song you listened to: some casting crown's
5. Last time you cried: tearing counted?

HAVE YOU EVER:
7. Been cheated on: nope.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: yes. -_-
9. Lost someone special: not really, hope nvr!! (>_<)
10. Been depressed: definitely.
11. Been drunk and threw up: never! yucksss.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. purple
13. yellow (ughh.. it grew on me)
14. cyan

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: Yup.
16. Fallen out of love: nope.
17. Laughed until you cried: I must have lolol
18. Met someone who changed you: yes! (^_^)
19. Found out who your true friends were: errr, some perhaps?
20. Found out someone was talking about you: yea, always. im their topic! :D (copied from jere) 21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: noh sadly. ): (lol)
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: 90% i guess.
23. How many kids do you want to have: 2 or 3! *excited* xD
24. Do you have any pets: thank God for them, no!
25. Do you want to change your name: yes, yanny! :D
26. What did you do for your last birthday: celebrated!
27. What time did you wake up today: officially 9+am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping! haha
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: CHURCH CAMP!! (and kids!)
30. Last time you saw your Mother: before she went to work.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: its fine as it as. (:
32. What are you listening to right now: the fan blowing.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: tommy counted? hehe
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: I need to go shower but this quiz is too fun.
35. Most visited webpage: my blog AHAHA.
36. What's your real name: The Wonderful n Beautiful Yanny :D
37. Nicknames: spanny, sally, yans, yanster, aka-chan, leelahbell, kairi etc etc
38. Relationship Status: married..... *dreams*
39. Zodiac sign: scorpio 40. Male or female?: doh.
41. Elementary?: northland 42. Middle School?: ahmad ibrahim
43. High school/college?: Temasek Polytechic.
44. Hair colour: super dark brown?
45. Long or short: inbetween
46. Height: 155cm? (>_<)
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: hehehahahahahahaha..
48: What do you like about yourself?: EVERYTHING TOO! xD
49. Piercings: one on each ear.
50. Tattoos: nope, paaaain.
51. Righty or lefty: Lefty FTW!

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: p1.. minor one.
53. First piercing: i think.. somewhere in pri sch.
54. First best friend: elizabeth lee cuiwen
55. First sport you joined: netball (lol)
56. First vacation: m'sia?
58. First pair of trainers: i'm saving for one now *beams*

RIGHT NOW :
59. Eating: nth.
60. Drinking: nth.
61. I'm about to: go bathe!!
62. Listening to: I thought I already said fan blowing!?
63. Waiting on: God. YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
65. Get Married?: *nodsnodsnodsnods*
66. Career?: sweet and caring housewife who learns to cook on the job! :D

WHICH IS BETTER : (I'm guessing this is about a partner?)
67. Lips or eyes: eyes!
68. Hugs or kisses: both!
69. Shorter or taller: taller of course, its not dat hard. -_-
70. Older or Younger: older.
71. Romantic or spontaneous: romantic.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: wad for??
73. Sensitive or loud: sensitive, but not TOO sensitive. d:
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: who wants a troublemaker? duh.

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: nope.
77. Drank hard liquor: a sip with adult supervision when i was 5, reportedly HAHA.
78. Lost glasses/contacts: nah.
79. Sex on first date: no way.
80. Broken someone's heart: yes...? (>_<)
82. Been arrested: no!
83. Turned someone down: yup.
84. Cried when someone died: "Of course, it's just being human" d:
85. Fallen for a friend?: yeaps. (dun think we fall for strangers right??)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: believe in the one in me.
87. Miracles: of course!
88. Love at first sight: no, tried before aready lol.
89. Heaven: yeaps.
90. Santa Claus: no, but I like the idea about him :D
91. Kiss on the first date: nah.
92. Angels: yeaps.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: gosh no.
95. Did you sing today?: you bet, with my deep manly voice. *wiggles eyebrows*
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: nopes.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: I wana play with my toddler self! xD
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: birthday? heees, can't get enough of it. d:
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: haha...............
100. Posting this as 100truths?: yes, why would I lie? (esp after spending so much of my time on this)

Holidays officially! weeeeeee~! lays-san's sister gave birth!!!! TO A GIRL! Her name is Faith Gan Jing En. (^_^) I squealed on her behalf while she just *stayed very calm* hehees.

I Am A Masterpiece

2009-06-09T11:42:00.000+08:00

Kapo-ed this from shun's blog, amazing skit. I wonder how long they took to rehearse, it's just so natural. Please watch this till the very end, there is a message for everyone whether you believe in God or not. (:

The video says it right: I am not junk! I am God's masterpiece, what an awesome, beautiful fact.
Yesterday I was just admitting to myself that I have been living a defeated life because of the way I see myself. I kept thinking dat I am not good enough, in school and in life. But that's such a horrible lie from the devil. The thing is, we will never be good enough as we all fall short and are limited. But the right thing to hold on to is not that but the fact that God loves us just as we are, He loves us. That alone is so much to be grateful for.

It's not easy to have people who loves us even together with our awful habits and personalities. But I'm grateful to have friends who love and have stood by me, my family who cares and provides for me and my brudders and sisters who encourage me. And to think dat God, who is above everything, does all of that for me too. He is a loving God! *(^_^)*

Beautiful girls

2009-06-08T12:01:00.000+08:00

Met up with the beautiful princesses last friday, I'm so thankful for our friendships!
Look at how we've all grown up together man, it's amazing and precious. (:

We went for our first chillout together after dinner. I'm so glad to have shared this memory with you guys. Went to The Balcony at Heeren; we were all afraid of getting tipsy so we ordered orange juice as well lol. Played 'I Never" & "I Got" and had so many laughs. I'm glad that it was hard for us to think of things dat we've done but the rest have not. It showed that we shared alot of things in common hehees. (^_^)

LHS: Crazy bestie who kept posing for photos while shir willingly snapped away lol.

RHS: And me with the really-pretty-yet-blur-like-sotong weiee hehehees. (^o^)

I remember wanting to be pure water for the people around me, and yes I still want to be that now! I need God to sharpen and mold me so dat I may be a better person and brighter light in other people's life. May I be a blessing to the people God has blessed me with too, instead of a burden or even just a normal friend. (:

In The Beginning

2009-06-07T23:55:00.000+08:00

Something powerful happened during Radical Conference ‘09 for many people I know. And it’s a new beginning for many people too, including me. And that is why I’ve decided to have a fresh new start and change my blog. My blogs mark phases of my life for me. Mercyfallout will always represent the time of my innocence, the end of my secondary school life, struggles in poly and my new-found faith .This new one shall be where I start living a life of faith and really trusting God with the BIG things in life like my future and dreams etc, on top of the small things like daily grace too. I need to stop carrying all my baggage from the past because I will never fly while they stay on my back.

Living for Christ is a choice that I have to really make continuously. Many things are starting to be complicated for me as I grow older and get exposed to more of the world. Not just knowing more depth about the world but also discovering that this society and everything in it encompasses so many layers and nooks and crannies. There are many grey areas in different things like attitudes, behavior and lifestyle as I lay them up beside my Christian ideals. All of these things shape us and our characters everyday thus they’re important; and now I have to make my own decisions about them instead of just obeying blindly.

I want to be very clear about why I’m doing the things I do; like why do I have to read my Bible everyday? Why do I have to be keep myself sexually pure? Why do I have to listen to my leaders? Why do I live under the restrictions of being a Christian? Why not just be free and do as I feel like? All of these and many more, I want to be very sure about so that I can give an answer to the people who ask me questions and not give the enemy any slip holes to try to shake me. I will not be shaken. I may fall back sometimes but I don’t think I will ever have reason enough to leave this faith cause it holds too much for me. It’s only when you have fallen that you know what it is that you really want and need to do.

God has really used the past week to bring me to another phase in my spiritual walk and life. I’m very sure it was all Him and none of me cause I was so tired mentally and physically, I couldn’t have been bothered to go to Him if He did not draw me near. It wasn’t as if I had an awesome epiphany and saw God and angels floating all around. But it felt like I woke up from something, a spiritual slumber of sorts. Or maybe like I finally made up my mind and jumped off from the fence where I had been teetering on.

From now on, I will treat this new phase as the time where I build up my resistance, my faith and my character. To trust in God and not complain or worry about whatever may come in my future, because God always wants the best for me. I am like the puppy, newborn and eyes closed, on a road where the closest thing to me is an oncoming car. I didn’t see what happened, eyes closed remember? But apparently someone must have jumped in to save me, for I am still breathing. He says it’s because he loves me, he cradles me in his arms and I see the scars and scratches from the accident on his hands. Red with blood, he smoothes me comfortingly and his blood washes over me. My eyes are ready to be opened.

I’m blessed to be able to know God in my youth. I really believe that God is the only one who can make people look His way and I’m humbled and relieved that He chose to save me. I prayed and will continue to pray for the salvation of the people dear to me to be in God’s “To Save Tray”. It’s really only by the King’s mercy that we may be saved; for something so important as the eternal lives of our loved ones , our only job is to speak up when it’s the right time and live a live that lifts Jesus’ name up. I need to do that, for I really want you, you and you to walk home with me at the end.

I also want to say I’m very thankful for my cell group. Grateful for all my brothers and sisters who have unknowingly encouraged me with their words, actions or simply just being in my life. It just feels very different from previous times; it feels more than just comforting to know that they are people trudging alongside me in this race. Really much more than I can place into words. Thank you to all of you warriors fighting your own battles!

May this be the Beginning of something great, pure and worthwhile. (: